The following are from the Washington Post Style Invitational
(a weekly contest for readers).
The idea is to redefine words from the dictionary.
v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.
adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained.
adj., describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightie.
v., to walk with a lisp.
n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.
n., a very rude Metrobus driver.
n., a person who is coughed upon.
n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up
after you are run over by a steamroller.
n., a rapidly receding hairline.
n., a humorous question to an exam.
n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood,
including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's
prayer book together just before vespers.
n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.
n., residents of Washington who have been
jerked around by the mayor.
n., a person who sprinkles his conversation
with Yiddish expressions.
n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts.